The Weakest Link

When you graduate from Maryland, you get a keychain with your fake diploma (which is actually a small poster; my real diploma was mailed 5 months later when I called wondering where it was). The keychain says Maryland Alumni, and as one cynical but nevertheless astute classmate pointed out, they’re giving you this to make sure you think about donating within steps of graduating.

The fob is one of those “if you find my lost keys, drop them in the mailbox and we’ll pay the postage” type deals, kind of like supermarkets offer. The Alumni Center holds onto your current address for you (how convenient!) and forwards them should anyone be so kindhearted. One minor problem: while the fob itself is sturdy and pre-aged, the connecting link is weak like a Wii wrist strap. Symbolic of the average UMD alum’s connection to the school post-graduation?*

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*I remember reading somewhere that UMD alums give the school practically nothing back, especially compared to our “peer schools”, and going completely on anecdotal evidence, I’d have to agree.  If anyone has numbers, please leave them in the comments.

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