Hands down worst (best?) local commercial of all time

I thought Massachusetts had some quality local cable furniture commercials (see: Bernie & Phyl), but this one might take the crown:

I didn’t even know where to begin with this eyelid-less man, but fortunately Slash did:

Grievances with/things i couldn’t understand about that commercial:

– who takes pride in comparing themselves to a mini mall?

– it’s nothing like a mini mall, the ad was two minutes long and as far as i can tell they only sell three things

– why is that ad two minutes long?

why wouldn’t you just take the money earmarked for a music video and instead spend it on replacing the “FLEA MARKET” sign outside with a comparable one reading “MINI MALL ???? ”  ?

– why is it necessary to, at the one-minute mark, “make it a dance”?

 

fantastically entertaining though. i may consider visiting that place if i ever enter the confederacy for any reason

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