How Captain Kangaroo Got to Australia

This Day In History:March 27, 1977 – Poorly spoken English caused the worst airplane accident in history on this day: the Canary Islands Crash.

Hot on the heels of Fox News’s hi-larious Daily Show ripoff comes Conservapedia. I guess I didn’t realize how liberally biased Wikipedia was, it being open-source and all.

The site’s content was written primarily by home-schooled students who clearly feel their world view is under attack. Although there are rumours that liberals and other anti-Americans routinely parody the site by posting the most ridiculous right wing rhetoric they can come up with, only to find it approved and published.

Some fun Conservapedia entries:

The Kangaroo:

Also according to creation science theories, after the Flood, kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land[5] — as it is thought that Australia was still for a time after the Flood connected to the Middle East before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart[6] — or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.[5] The theory that God simply generated kangaroos into existence there is considered by most creation researchers to be contra-Biblical.

Other views on kangaroo origins include the belief of some Australian aborigines that kangaroos were sung into existence by their ancestors during the “Dreamtime[7] and the evolutionary view that kangaroos and the other marsupials evolved from a common marsupial ancestor which lived hundreds of millions of years ago.[8]

I like that two Captain Kangaroos floating on some buoyant turf is regarded as the accurate version of history while the entire concept of evolution shares a sentence with the understanding that species are created through song.

lounging-kangaroo.jpg

God:

It is claimed that Christianity, Islam, and Judaism worship the same God in different ways. This claim is regarded by some as a way to convert Jews and Christians to Islam, since it supports the idea that Abrahamic religion has “grown” from Judaism to Christianity to Islam.[3] However, many are skeptical of this idea.[4]

An extensive bibliography of sources for the god article:

* Cruden, A., Complete Concordance to the Old and New Testaments (Lutterworth, 1930)
* The Holy Bible (King James Version)
* The New English Bible (Oxford & Cambridge University Presses, 1970)
* The New Jerusalem Bible (Darton, Longman & Todd, 1990)
* Peake, A.S., Commentary on the Bible (Nelson, 1962)
* Young, R., Analytical Concordance to the Holy Bible (Lutterworth, 1939)

Good fun. Try also: Fox News, dinosaurs, and unicorns.

via Chris via Onion A.V. club

2 thoughts on “How Captain Kangaroo Got to Australia

  1. best Conservapedia entry I’ve seen (they’ve since taken it down):

    “Renee Descartes was a French philosopher, probably the greatest philosopher of all time (although Kant, Aristotle and Ayn Rand also lay claim to this title). Descartes locked himself in a stove and meditated, arriving at the unsurprising conclusion that nothing existed. He then used Anselm’s proof of the existence of God to decide that perhaps he wasn’t deluded, and perhaps things did exist after all. He thought the soul lived in the pineal gland, and when you lift your arm it’s just an accident because your brain doesn’t control your body, God does. This ‘god-robot’ theory of consciousness got him into ferocious arguments with Hobbes, but then Hobbes loved a good argument and was usually wrong.”

    you’d think it would be hard to come up with such musings while you were in the midst of roasting yourself; he lived in a room with a stove, not inside of a stove

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