Category Archives: Advertising

Hands down worst (best?) local commercial of all time

I thought Massachusetts had some quality local cable furniture commercials (see: Bernie & Phyl), but this one might take the crown:

I didn’t even know where to begin with this eyelid-less man, but fortunately Slash did:

Grievances with/things i couldn’t understand about that commercial:

– who takes pride in comparing themselves to a mini mall?

– it’s nothing like a mini mall, the ad was two minutes long and as far as i can tell they only sell three things

– why is that ad two minutes long?

why wouldn’t you just take the money earmarked for a music video and instead spend it on replacing the “FLEA MARKET” sign outside with a comparable one reading “MINI MALL ???? ”  ?

– why is it necessary to, at the one-minute mark, “make it a dance”?

 

fantastically entertaining though. i may consider visiting that place if i ever enter the confederacy for any reason

Syrup

I either saw the rumored Pepsi / Britney Spears comeback ad, or had a dream last night with it and it was very well-done. Meanwhile, in waking life, Coke’s new ads are amazing. Here are three good new ones, including a Grand Theft Auto style with a nice song.

New Toys

Tuesday is Macworld, meaning Apple will be releasing some new products. I’m pretty excited. The iPhone and “true video” (full screen) iPod are both rumored to be imminent.

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People have all kinds of wild expectations for both, but I think the key to the iPhone will be far more subtle than doing everything for everyone. Apple will make it easy to use with your computer. Companies like Verizon cripple the file transferring features in their phones so that they can charge you $4 for a 30 second clip of a song you’ve already purchased three different ways. They lost a class-action lawsuit over this, but their philosophy is still backwards. It’s my phone, it’s my data, I shouldn’t have to buy some $40 cable to connect the two. There’s still plenty of room for innovation, and hopefully Apple will be the one to pull it off.

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Apple gave away a great audio player, iTunes, completely free. Except that once you’ve used iTunes to manage your 65 gig MP3 library, you just can’t go back to Winamp. And so you buy an iPod. And suddenly that free program made you excited to buy a $250 MP3 player. CNET predicts Apple will do the same thing with the iPhone.Another cool toy is the iTV, which will let you watch all your pirated video on the TV in your living room, just like the iPod let you listen to all your pirated audio.

Anyway, I want a new cellphone and I’m going to hold out and see what this iPhone looks like, if it exists. I don’t use the word ‘need’, because my old phone works perfectly well, but given the looks I’m getting lately when I pull it out I should probably upgrade. The dream of carrying just my cellphone with me, instead of a cellphone, MP3 player, and camera, is so close, yet so far.

I’m a pretty big believer in Apple and always have been (or at least since the original iMac). That being said, I’ve been using an iBook at work (is it even possible for liberal creative types to use anything else?) and I’m really not that impressed. Part of the problem is that I know how to do everything I want to on a PC and I feel like an idiot on an Apple when I can’t get a screenshot or print double-sided paper, but even after I found out how to do those things, they’re still kind of a pain in the ass. To someone who has never used a computer before, an Apple makes way more sense. To someone who has, a PC does.

The other thing I hate about Apple is their new commercials. The hipster represents everything people hate about Mac users and you wish you could reach into the screen and smack the smug out of his face. The format has led to some entertaining parodies, however, such as the one below that pretty accurately compares the PS3 and the Wii and helps explain why the Wii’s kicking ass.

Spam Subject Lines in My Inbox

  • impale Westchester
  • Celebrity Baby Naked Ambition
  • He said she won’t even show him her ass.
  • Christmas are coming!

There are actually a number of tributes to the sentient / poetic nature of these randomized lines, such as the Spam Subject Line Museum.

Remember when spam actually tried to sell you something, and didn’t focus on just getting through your spam filter?

Cartoons inspired by spam subjects: Spamusement.

spamuse.gif

(She has a surprise in her pants!)

Hail, Alma Mater

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Not only are there Terrapins climbing the staircases at BWI (a marketing move described as “unique” and “unexpected for an educational institution”…………in a good way), but we also won the Grounds Maintenance Award. I originally meant that as a joke, but now that the University is at long last bypassing the sinkhole that is College Park (land of “a thousand permutations on the sandwich”) and creating their own college town, it’s a legitimate sign of good things to come.

Oh, and I hear we’ve got a pretty decent basketball team.