Category Archives: DC

Know Your Zones


Someone combined Google Maps with the DC taxi zones system, so you don’t have to rely on that 99% blank map in the cab’s back seat to know whether or not you’re getting ripped off:

DC Taxi Zones

Courtesy of DCist: Go, Go, Google D.C. Taxi Maps

Or you can use the government version that looks like it was made in 1995.

Or they could just switch to timed meters. I don’t understand how they live off of the $8 they receive for 45 minutes in traffic.

Vernal Equinox

That’s the first day of Spring, for those of you who didn’t have to take astronomy to fulfill science credits (they really don’t like it when you call the class astrology for the better part of the semester).

After a very snowy weekend in PA, where they don’t plow major highways and you must rely on clearly intoxicated locals to lay down cinder (a word I haven’t heard since playing Killer Instinct back in the day), it’s absolutely gorgeous out again.

Gorgeous enough to run around late at night.

I left my stuff at the gym and headed whichever way the walk sign told me I could go. After a while in the posh hotel areas of the city and sprinting through garbage alleys with the truck right behind me, I headed south past GW in search of Lincoln. I haven’t gone running on the mall at night yet, and even worse I haven’t paid Abraham a visit since moving into the city in August.

The anxiety of low ceilings and mirrors and a small army of other people watching you run is replaced by solitary solidarity with the few other runners you encounter, the stale air and flourescent lighting traded for a moon and moist air, the ephemeral pundits everyone hates DC for replaced by the timeless monuments everyone loves DC for.

I can’t find a way across the highway so I sprint across, the adrenaline wrapping me quickly around the backside of Lincoln Circle. I start to cross the bridge and stop to lean over the edge and feel the cool wind.

I come around to the front of the monument and bound up the steps, my racing heart’s beating sustained at the top by the lively buzz tourists take on at night.


Inscriptions on the wall speak of bringing only peace and goodwill to other nations, of caring for our war orphans and widows. I can see the Capitol from here.

A small sign requests respectful silence, but it’s ignored by commercial jets flying directly overhead. Peace is found again as I bound back down the final steps, sailing off each set with more air than the last, solace returned as I hit the dirt path next to the reflecting pool.

The WWII monument creeps up, too ornate between the austere Lincoln and stark obelisk, its lighting dull yellow rather than crisp white, its wreaths and inscriptions too many and too busy for this night.

I turn north and the trees and water return me, a single tourbus waits for its last two passengers, a close to an alive but serene night.


flair.jpgFor those 3 of you I did not send a grainy, unlit picture of myself and Mick Foley (don’t be hurt – like many a drunk dialer, my efforts heavily favored the beginning of the alphabet), I got to not only attend WWE RAW at the Verizon Center Monday night, but also got to meet Mick Foley, Jimmy Hart, and Ric Flair. Mick Foley dropped his book and I totally picked it up for him.

Thanks go to my coworker Jess, who does not have a blog I can reward with a deluge of traffic and will instead have to thank in more concrete ways, like allowing her candy bowl to replenish a little before reducing it to stale candy canes again.

The more entertaining details must be omitted in this forum, but highlights include:

  • The Russian character, once a supervillain worthy of a PayPerView match, has been reduced in a post-Cold War world to a caricature, a mockery of Russian accents.
  • A clearly homosexual character fought a clearly mentally retarded character in a preview of the Texas Judicial System circa 2017.
  • Trump was present to build up his upcoming loser-shaves-his-head match with Vince McMahon. Jess saw him!
  • Cage matches have apparently been reduced to chain link fence without even the sharp twisted wire at the top.
  • Ric Flair…still wrestling. Still no moves other than the slap to the chest and the ankle trip thing.
  • A ridiculously stereotypical Caribbean character (Carlito) wearing yum yum yellow booty shorts whose entire gimmick was that he carries an apple, tosses it up and down, takes a bite, and spits it in the face of authority. Bob Marley would be proud.
  • Hacksaw Jim Duggan, still ticking, still walking around with a 2×4, still starting USA! chants literally every 2-3 minutes of a 15 minute match.
  • Super Crazy did not live up to his name whatsoever
  • Cryme Tyme drew the most racist comments I’ve ever heard voiced in public before

Columbia Heights

Another blog?

Nope, this one’s a Tumblr.  Tumblr’s are good when you don’t feel like expounding on a subject at length, but do want to routinely share mixed media like pictures, text, and videos.  It also highlights quotes and, channeling the fun of quoting someone out of context (like in many away messages), conversation snippets.

I thought it’d be a good platform for the occasional publishing of things I witness living in Columbia Heights (in the spirit of Found).

Maybe I’ll find a way to cross-post here.  I’m 100% confident it’s possible, but not all that much of an RSS / WordPress pro yet.

Explorations: Roosevelt Island

Have you ever looked at a map and found things that looked cool and wanted to go there?


Well, I have, and I’m going to explore these places, time permitting (read: DC only).

Our first installation will be Theodore Roosevelt Island. I had always kind of wondered what was on this magical land-locked island and Saturday was warm enough to explore / run.

Teddy Roosevelt, besides saving the day in Newsies, was also an early conservationist. So his society bought the land from George Mason, whose mansion had been spoiled by stagnant water, and renamed it, washing the original Native American name out of history [wikipedia doesn’t lie].

img_0237.jpgFortunately for us, we have boardwalks to run over (most of) the swampy guck. This part reminded me of Plum Island, MA.

Being that it was a boardwalk over water.


The only way this island could be cooler is if there were a tram to it, like New York City’s [Franklin D.] Roosevelt Island:


Next in this sure to be long-lived series: a squiggly road I found. If you have any suggestions of things that look fun (at least on a map), let me know in the comments and we’ll explore.

Oh, and you need directions to Roosevelt Island? But wait, you want them to be as tacky as possible? Don’t say I never did anything for you: