5. He’s taking a big cut (although you could probably assume this)
4. The stretching your jaw must do to allow the brush access to your teeth is ache-inducing when you’re not lying back in a chair having someone else do it.
3. Without that previously-unappreciated spit-sucker, your saliva drools out your mouth the entire time you brush your teeth.
2. You’re not going to travel with it.
1. You will never, not once, use the “polishing”, “flossing”, or “tongue-scraping” head attachments
- impale Westchester
- Celebrity Baby Naked Ambition
- He said she won’t even show him her ass.
- Christmas are coming!
There are actually a number of tributes to the sentient / poetic nature of these randomized lines, such as the Spam Subject Line Museum.
Remember when spam actually tried to sell you something, and didn’t focus on just getting through your spam filter?
Cartoons inspired by spam subjects: Spamusement.
(She has a surprise in her pants!)
(in order of outrage)
1. A Christmas Story – Cingular
2. “Something to Talk About”, Badly Drawn Boy, from the About a Boy soundtrack – Hummer
3. The Apollo moon landing – Red Bull